My Weakness by Sean Fisher

This party was fucking awful. Everyone lost in an alcoholic, and probably some pill infused trance. College parties are such a joke. She took my hand, and I follow. She was the reason for being here. Surrounded by dozens of semi attractive people but all I want is her. She is everything I could possibly need.      

Everyone is so fake to one another. Dancing to music so awful that it makes me think of Barry Manalow if he decided to try EDM. These people grinding and kissing on their “lovers’’ like they actually care about each other, when in reality they need to consume as much alcohol as possible for sex to even be an option.

These people don’t know what true love is. 

They haven’t found their euphoria yet.

 With her in my hand, we squirmed through the crowd, dodging the half naked bodies attempting to make a move on me. I follow her wherever she tells  me to go. 

She controls me.

We left the party, and got right in my car that could barely start. My hands were trembling around the steering wheel. Sweat was starting to break through my skin. I could hardly even wait. I want her so bad. 

The drive home was excruciating. Every parking lot or alley I had to pass screamed out to me. 

What if I just pull over right now?

 Eyes on the road. I just need to keep my eyes on the road. I’m almost there.

I turned up the radio and let Green Day keep my mind occupied. I finally got back to my apartment. Once I was inside my clothes couldn’t come off any faster. 

I can’t even walk into the bedroom without stumbling over my feet. 

Jesus, how long had it been since my last? 

I sat down on the bed but can’t even think of what to do first. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. 

Just relax, we’re almost there. 

I took out the same spoon that I’ve been using since I started all of this. Next came the time to add the solution to all of my problems. 

Add a little bit of water. 

Now to boil it. 

It really does make you feel like a chemist doing all of this. Watching the reaction happen right before your eyes. 

The metallic lips engulfed it. With my teeth, I tightened the belt around my arm. Slowly she entered my veins. Dull, and slightly painful. I closed my eyes and drifted. Back to my euphoria. Fuck this feels nice. It’s better than the best love. Hell it’s even better than sex. Slowly I sank into the mattress.


Something isn’t right. 

I think I just released myself because my lower half is a little too warm.  Steaming hot vomit spews out of my mouth. Breathing is impossible now, as my lungs fill up with a nasty mix of bodily fluids. I slide to the floor and fall face down.


I started to seize. My body flails back and forth. Next came the shivers. I could feel my body turn to ice.

Then nothing.

She controlled me.

Sean is from Detroit, Michigan. He will have his first published story appearing in the June addition of Adelaide Magazine. In his spare time, if he isn’t skateboarding, he is writing short films or is working on writing his second feature length film. He is also writing a graphic novel. Find him on Twitter @SeanPFish 

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